-Tom Jacks was arrested for selling drugs to school children. I was told to pay his bail but instead used that money to buy a mummified cat
-Dr. Henry E. Miller once told me Tom Jacks couldn't keep his job at Totem because "Art school fags aren't any good at lifiting washing machines"
-Tom Jacks owns the entire Toto Discography
-Tom Jacks once thought it'd be cool to collect Marbles
-Tom Jacks is a big fan of big women. If you don't belive me, ask Dr. Henry E. Miller!
-Tom Jacks tells everyone he's black. In fact he's a light skinned person with bad glasses. He is now a member of the Aryan Nation as a way to stay safe in prison
-Tom Jacks worked for the Railroad for awhile but spent 30 days on the street because he didn't tie down a stone hopper and 8 people died
Tom Jacks, please stay safe in Prison you totally shouldn't have offered that kid with a mustache "14 ounces of pure sex"