We were going to make this post on New Years but then some stuff happened involving a state owned building in Livingston Montana so we are making it now jerks!
Ten years ago in GI Joe fan communities you could debate about weather or not Cuba Gooding JR would make a good roadblock in a live action GI Joe movie, flame each other and talk about slapping each other around with a trout and saying I REPRESENT THAT COMMENT a lot because it was a cool thing to say or something. Also a bunch of halfassed action figures in weird packaging under the name GI Joe came out, they were the last good action figures called that to come out during the decade. They had a bunch of silly code names like BLASTFACE or REGARD THE RULES I don't remember much from that long ago I did a lot of drugs.
During the ten years between the year 2000 (the new Willennium) and now 2010 (the era of scary black men running the country) we had
A lot of really really stupid action figures that moved less and had worse paint aps then figures you could buy at a Kroger in 1986.
A really stupid comic that got canceled and rebooted like 8 times
The Baddest Men on E-Bay ran rampant on a news group nobody even reads anymore for like 8 months then disappeared.
Thomas Wheeler continuing to try and make himself sound important on message boards
Corey Stintson got mad about some stuff I think.
Mike T. took some really awkward photos and ranted about stuff nobody cares about
The steep decline of Yojoe.coms relevancy
Hisstank doing what Sgt Savage, Joecustoms and a bunch of other sites couldn't do, Monopolize news about meaningless pieces of plastic made for children.
The golden error of photos of plastic men fighting international terror in tail grass (dio stories) in 2003.
Hasbro listened to a bunch of jerkass fanboy opinions and we ended up with some embarrassingly bad figures because of it.
Ripcord became a black guy and a bunch of whitebread motherfuckers got all mad because he now had a romantic relationship with a white girl in some movie I forgot to go see.
GIVE ME A V FOR TEX-ASS\
Customizing got lamer and lamer and lamer as time went on.
The greatest Tripwire recolor was released in a foreign land.
Geocities died, taking a lot of fanpages with them (COBRA CABANA REST IN PIECES)
A look back at posters we have lost this decade:
Mike Fountain. (Traded to Ottawa)
As we enter whatever you are gonna call this decade I hope that jerks don't stop being jerks because then we will run out of material.
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Honestly, until three days ago I had no idea that this world that you have described so awesomely, existed. The best part is, you guys are so spot on with the cogent critiques. People really put alt figures in packaging and return it? And this sets the geeks off? Hasbro really just adds garish colors to old molds and resells them for obscene markups? And people buy it? God damned fanboys always ruin it, don't they? Oh well. It really takes me back to being nine in '84 again.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Jack Burton. You are an amazing guy, based solely off of your profile quote.
ReplyDeleteRe-packing figures is something that really sets geeks off. Someone once said something about how figure re-packing is worse than the holocaust.
I wish I was making that up