Long Lost G.I Joe Fan Community Hyberbole

Here at Smash The State we tend to poke a lot of fun at jerks who are currently posting nonsense such as TORSO JOINTS HAVE FINALLY PROPELLED GI JOE INTO THE 21ST CENTURY on Hisstank.com but we have a notice for all of you, the fan community has always been retarded. So today we look back at three old message board talking points that have been lost to the sands of time.


1. HORDERS

I remember back in like 2000-2001, right around the time the 2-packs came back there was some kind of crazy hate fest going on surrounding people who "Horde" figures. Meaning people who bought like 40 Cobra Arctic Packs so they could COBRA ARCTIC FORCE ARMY shots in their studio apartments or whatever. You needed 40 white night creepers to awkwardly surround 3 86 snow serpents and a Corps vehicle painted testors gloss white. So people on message boards got all ragin' about HORDERS TAKING EVERYTHING ON THE SHELVES. G.I Joe fans hate consumerism, despite collecting something mass produced by a major corporation. This talking point faded away sometime around the time the ARMY BUILDIN' crase of the mid 2000's began.


2. NO GOOD FIGURES AFTER 1986 OTHER THEN FALCON AND SHOCKWAVE

This one is probably an original G.I Jerk talking point, the once oft-deputed "fact" that no good figures were made after 1986 - meaning the year most generation Xers who now have the internet and bloated 90's bank accounts reached the age where "toys are gay". This was a serious business thing anyone who liked an action toy made in 1991 would be harassed about it, because NEON MAN THE 90S DEMOCRATS GOT ELECTED AND IT ALL WENT TO SHIT or something. As the wave of "Whoa I am 25 and I can do stuff now!" Generation Xers moved onto a more mature hobby such as golfing or being laid off after the dot com bust this faded into the background. You can still find jerks who will argue about toys made after 1989 or something but for the most part nobody really gives a shit.

3. WHEN WILL WE SEE MORE ARMY BUILDERS OR THE VIPER MOLD AGAIN

At one time people got fucking mad about the fact the only "Army builders" they could buy new were shit like a repainted Astro Viper, then 2003 happened and everyone shut the hell up about it. Once they sniffed a litte bit of fan entitlement Hasbro saw dollar signs and started cranking out the same 5 molds in all these different colors, this bellyaching turned into TWO MANY ARMY BUILDERS or RETIRE THE VIPER MOLD. When it finally looked like Hasbro was gonna shoot G.I Joe dead they released the viper mold one last time but this time with really fucked up legs, that was probably the apex of the early 2000's pining for the old days. Only this time around it wasn't the same. Hopefully some of these jerks learned their goddamned lessons.