Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Douchebag Of The Week-A-Thon

This strange little hobby of ours is basically filled with two types of people: phony pompous assholes and creepy creepy jobless fat dudes. And as a result of this fact, STS is ready to pour out the proper accolades upon these wretched individuals. With that in mind I give you:

The Douchebag Of The Week-A-Thon

There is no particular criteria for this esteemed award and with the abundance of freaks out there, there will be no shortage of nominees.....

This Weeks Winner?!

Matthew
Morelock

I HAVE KNOW IDEA WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS FACEBOOK PROFILE PIC.

Matt is known by Agent Viper on joedios and other shitty joe fan sites like JBL.

From his myspace:

About me:

Ok, if you are actually reading this, your are one cool person :D. I'm Matt Morelock, I am a sincere individual, I try to be courteous, respectful, and a good person. I've been referred to as everything you can think of, spanning from "Your My Hero" to "Your a D Bag". Its normal I guess? I love meeting new people and learning new things, I'm not afraid to try something new. I stand 6'1, I catch a LOT of crap for my massive shoe size. Thats about it, of course i could not fit my whole life story into this, it would probably blow up :D

If I had to guess, I would say I was the one that called him douchebag.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

LAKERS BLOW THE SERIES

And by blow, I mean they pissed me off by beating my classmate, Rajon Rondo, and the Celtics in the NBA championship. I'm no NBA Guru and I am not a Celtics fan, but I did let Rondo use my notes for an exam once, so I feel a little connection to my friend that I refer to as, "the black man with the biggest hands I have ever seen" or Rondo. Since LA won, lets have some fun.....

If Kobe was a joe, he would be........

Black Outself explanatory

If Pau Gasol was a joe, he would be.....


Why Wildcard you ask?
Well Pau Gasol looks like a homeless person.

True story, before I married my wife, I came down to Memphis to meet her family and at night(as college kids do) we would hit the bars. In true "Ben Roethlisberger" fashion, Pau(who was with the sad, sad Grizzles at the time) was at a college dive bar on the campus of the University of Memphis. Pau asked my wife(girlfriend at the time) to shoot pool with him. I was all for it.
Now, Rachel can play, but he still reached his orgre arms around her in an effort to "teach" her the game. I laughed and in true FF fashion, thought it was fucking hilarious. But then he tried to "take" her back to his "loft". #1 lofts are for gays. (No offense. I love gays. It's just a fact) #2 grabbing a girls wrist is not an invitation. But I digress, back to my main point. Fuck LA.

If RonRon was a joe......

He would be a crazy homeless lady.The man is insane. In a post game interview, he thanked his psychiatrist. He also has a new single about to drop.

Really RonRon, you just won the NBA championship and your main concern was mentioning you are trying to "drop" a single.

You Crazy Son.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Douchebag Of The Week-A-Thon

This strange little hobby of ours is basically filled with two types of people: phony pompous assholes and creepy creepy jobless fat dudes. And as a result of this fact, STS is ready to pour out the proper accolades upon these wretched individuals. With that in mind I give you:

The Douchebag Of The Week-A-Thon

There is no particular criteria for this esteemed award and with the abundance of freaks out there, there will be no shortage of nominees.....

This Weeks Winner?!

Graham Hughes
Taken from his face book: "I figured, everyone does pics like this. I was also testing different frame rates on the camera and whether the camera was far enough away."
Really?! You were testing frame rates..... come on. Tha
t's even more nerdy than just taking a goofball picture.

Graham Hughes is the moderator of Joedios.com and an all around bad dude, think "BAD BOB". His user name is "Sonneilon". When I first joined joedios.com, 4 years ago, I entered a silly contest he was hosting. Turns out I won. What did I win you ask?

- A 12 inch by 12 inch black flag featuring a creepy dragon.

-2 pairs of creepy custom pink chopsticks

-2 creepy 6 inch lizard figures from God knows where that I eventually pawned off on Turk


Best contest ever!
Graham enjoys taking artsy pictures of decrepit landscapes he calls art, working in his garden(which consists of zero plants and some dirt and cinder block box) and posting pictures of his nonexistent garden on joe toy websites. He also loves making dios that star himself as a creepy super skilled dude, with the power of invisibility, that kills all the joes.His super sweet garden.
An example of his super sweet "art" photos
Sonny's dio, staring himself as the coolest invisible cat ever.

I hope he trips on a cinder block and when he falls... forces pink chopsticks to go underneath his fingernails.

Douchebag of the week. There you go.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Dubya Dubya - B - R - D

Today is a special day for your new contributor fireflyed, for today is my one year wedding anniversary. Of course my wife wants to do something special for this important milestone. So, as I sat and pondered my options to no avail. I enacted an exercise I often do when faced with a difficult decision. I said to myself......

What Would Black Ripcord Do?

What would Black Ripcord do if he was in Memphis and in a similar situation? And then I knew exactly where I would take my wife to mark this momentous occasion. Take her sweet ebony ass to......
Chocolate City!!!!
I took this picture in the middle of the hood, on the roof of my suv, in the parking lot while two homeless blafricans stared at me.

Yes Chocolate City, I found this little gem by accident when I had to go meet a client and when I asked for directions he replied, "You know where Chocolate City is?" "
"No" I said, "But I want know where it is and I want to know all about it."
To the interwebz!


This looks like the perfect spot to celebrate! I know if my man Black Ripcord was on site, this is the joint he would want to hit up. Make sure you check out there website http://chocolatecitymemphis.ning.com/
It seems they have a forum too! So naturally, Marlon Wayans was quick to join. I'll be sure to keep you all posted on the fun ghetto trolling.

The moral of this post you ask?
Next time you are in a delicate situation, just say to yourselves, "What would the most important black dude in G.I. Joe history do?", and you'll be good to go. I think Christians are all ready ripping me off.

And remember Thursday is ladies night, free drinks for the "lades"