Rockin' in the Projects: The War On Drugs

The war on drugs is a controversial thing, some people think "Dope is 4 Dopes" and others think "Legalize and then tax the hell out of it". Both of those are incorrect, as dope is responsible for the best line in a rap song (Regulate), and if anything needs to be taxed up the wazoo, it's religion.

Anyways, G.I. Joe was hardly one to shy away from controversy, the first 2 years was Army guys fighting White Supremacists, so of course they had something to say on the war on drugs.

America's cleanest Hood. Picture Credit: Some dude with a white couch

"YOU HAVE THE POWER TO SAY NO"

What the fuck G.I. Joe? Seriously I understand drug problems among America's inner city youth is a serious fucking thing, but going into the slums posting wanted signs for the fucking Hamburglar, and spray painting inspirational messages on the walls isn't going to help. In actuality it's contributing to the Urban Decay that causes youths to need an escape from the reality that is the ghetto.

Who knows though, maybe that slum is actually FORT AMERICA, G.I. Joe's top secret weapon for exterminating the poor.

Thanks a lot Mutt!

Truth in Dio Stories

Smash the State has always been and are at the forefront of talking about toys on the internet. We also recognize a good g.i. joe dio story when we see it. What follows is just that, when G.I. Joe meets real ass life.

Mother Fucker!

I'm on empty? That's what I get for letting SciFi use my crossover.(Chuckles is a prick nerd)

Excuse me, sir?!

Hey man, listen. My daughter has been in an accident. I'm on my way to see her, but I ran out of gas! I'm just trying to raise enough money to make it across the bridge to Arkansas. Will you help me?

No.

Listen man, if you give me your address, I promise I'LL send it back and reimburse you with interest!

Where's your car? Can I see your driver license?

It's behind the building man! Lighten up man! Will you help me?

(I turned around and let my gat explode. Now I'm switching my mind back into freak mode.)

LET ME PUMP MY GAS IN PEACE, MOTHER FUCKER.

Pop Culture References in G.I. Joe Missed by Jerks.

The G.I. Joe comic book was occasionally better than a STAR COMICS imprint, because of this there were a number of references that dudes into G.I. Joe (Fat white guys) missed. A great example of this is Marvel G.I. Joe # 12 (June, 1983)


Real ass quotes from the first two comic recaps I found: Yo Joe's says this "the streets of San Francisco. The chase continues through the streets with exchange of gunfire between the Joes and the Cobra operatives. An unsuspecting civilian, in his car, haphazardly places himself in the path of the oncoming Cobra van subsequently has his car ripped to shreds as the van then the VAMP tear right through it."

MyUselessKnowledge had this to say "..." nothing, because that site is pretty useless and has had the same 80 Comic summaries since like 2000!

Anyways the "unsuspecting civilian" is actually a clever stereotype providing an ironic reference. Check these images!







There's a reference to a pretty fucking rad band, known as the Plasmatics, who's lead singer would blow cars up and destroy television's in an effort to subvert materialistic pricks. Could the fact there was a reference to that in the most materialistic type of media (Toy Commercials) be subtle irony or Larry Hama just thinking "Shit there's punk rockers in San Francisco". I'm going with the latter, as Mohawk boy is more of a caricature of an image obsessed L.A. punk from the late 70's.

Am I surprised no one ever mentioned this sly reference? Nope! G.I. Joe is pretty good at attracting dudes with bad taste and a lack of awareness to cultural phenomenon's that aren't "80's toys" and "Action Movies"

A Childs Pespective

Smash the state has always been are the forefront of talking about toys on the internet, since nerds always comment about kids today buying GI Joe or whatever but never actually ask kids what they think of GI Joe. We decided since we aren't creepy looking man children and can actually approach people in society to ask different kids questions about GI Joes:

First question: what do you think about GI Joes

Tyler, Age Six: "Army men are gay"

George, Age Eight: "I know four curse words"

What is your favorite foreign character?

Adam, Age Nine: "My dad says people from other countries smell like sweat and own all the delis in town"

Do you think the line needs more female characters?

Adam, Age Nine: "My mom sometimes acts like a fool and then my dad hits her with the Landry hamper"

Tyler, Age Six: "I hate my teacher"

Do you like the older RAH style or the new, post 25th style?

George, Age Eight: "I tasted one of my dads drinks once and it tasted bad and made me fall down the stairs"

Adam, Age Nine: "What does that mean mister, nobody likes to play with army guys anyway only weird kids that smell bad do that"

See, there you have it, the Youth Of America have spoken!

ORDINARY DAY

While this is intended (and succeeded) to be funny, and awesome, we here at Smash The State realize a lot of G.I. Joe fan mongoloids will not actually see it that way. So I would like to say the following: Women should never be assaulted, domestic violence should never happen, and Smash The State's three favorite things are: Roe vs. Wade, Teacher's Unions, and the City of San Francisco. For real ass information: http://www.domesticviolence.org/

E-mails we've received!

We here at Smash The State have a rarely check e-mail. Here's some gems from it!

From Get_Nugged420@yahooligans.com: "Hey u guys shud stop posting people's pics on the net"

Johnny Turk says: Fuck You!


From r.danko99@hotmail.com: "No I am not Rick Danko. Please stop e-mailing me asking for autographed lyric sheets to the song "Home Cookin'" I don't know what you're talking about.

Sincerely

Riley Danko"

Johnny Turk says: Riley is a total slut name, so I apologize

From dustinverburg@u.boisestate.edu: I know you dudes like rock music, i did an article about what 1/2 of septic death has been up to
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/interview-with-little-miss-and-the-no-names/

there it is.

Johnny Turk Says: Jesus Verberg, why'd you kill yourself?


Remember if you send an e-mail to "Raffi_TorresD.U.I.@live.com" you might just be e-mailing a goon!