Thursday, November 3, 2011

(Smash The State eats itself)

A figure review.

G.I. Joe is a pretty retarded thing, that really should've been dead and buried for 10 years at this point, however that is not the case, and we've been subject to A LOT of terrible things, such as everything from 2002-2006, that gay movie, Resolute, and a lot of other things I never actually paid attention to.

Occasionally however there is a G.I. Joe that still has THE STUFF. Today, Smash The State is going to discuss the most recent G.I. Joe that has THE STUFF, don't expect a lot of knowledge or wittiness because fuck you we don't care, and the best reviewer of G.I. Joe toys Last Best Angry Man is too busy driving his new car in the Alkali Flats

2011 Stalker is a rad as fuck figure, he doesn't look like a fucking cartoon, doesn't have bright colours, has a machete and above all else looks like a member of the Black Panther Party, I haven't seen anyone mention that, but it's probably because most white bread honky fuckers into G.I. Joe are thinking "Stalker is Snake Eyes and Tommy's best friend, he didn't kill cops or sell drugs in the 70's"

So basically buy this figure, it's a true throw back to the days of G.I. Joe being President Reagan's official gang, full of people from Ohio or high school dropouts (they're the same thing amirite)


  1. I do like this variation. But I prefer Stalker in green camo. I had a buddy in elementary school that always wore army pants and a camouflage T-shirt every day. I imagine Stalker doing the same thing, like showing up to special occasions such as weddings, funerals, graduation ceremonies, or anywhere in public dressed in camo.

  2. Lonzo never struck me as the dreadlock type.

  3. Best review ever and spot on! Know what bothers me? The fact that someone can't mention this toy without someone else chiming in to say, "Lonzo never struck me as the dreadlock type." It's like this with everything in this stupid hobby. FUCK YOU RECONDO SHULD ALWAYS HAVE A MUSTACH AND COVERGIRL NEEDS A BOMMER JACKET!!11!!