Monday, December 27, 2010


At this time every year, it is important to remember those who served and also those who need your help.

In a dirty alley in Northhampton, a sad scene is witnessed.
We here at STS, never ever forget.

I gave two goddamn coats and a case of budweiser to the needy this year!
What the fuck have you done?!?

Don't be an asshole.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Greatest GI Joe Website

Alright jerks, shut up, sit down and listen. Today we are gonna go a trawling through the past and talk about the worlds greatest GI Joe website:


Welcome to the G.I.Joe film page
This site has been made with a main purpose: the creation of a G.I.Joe film. We need a plot, a casting (this is one of the most interesting issues), any good ideas. Here are some of my own but I invite (and encourage) every body to participate.

Ok the Plot...the U.S. Goverment recieves word of a threatening terrorist orginization called Cobra they send a team of members called GIJoe to make an assault on Cobra's known head quarters (Cobra Island) now meanwhile Cobra can be planning a seige of some sort to take something over like a military installation ect. for the opening sequence for the movie you could have Destro breaking in to a Millitary Arms Installation for weapons and he'd be getting stuff like M4 Carbines ,Steyr AUGS stuff that looks sorta high tech maybe even OICWs. And Police could arrive and of course we know who'd win ,he could have a Black Hawk helicopter waiting and zoom off in it...which thinking of that brings me to what the Joes would use as vehicles such as the Black Hawk they could be working with the very real 160th aviation group based out of Ft. Bragg ,SC. and of course the joes foil cobra's plot at the last second. Another good addition would be the Dreadnoks trashing out some store like a target or toys r us store just so you good add in the GIJoe stuff in the back ground as sort of a pun...

The soundtrack is very important. The music to be chosen would be different if we choose to make a cult movie or a commercial movie.

CULT MOVIE: The music should be new, I mean invented because when we hear the music we would remember the movie. Making GI Joe a cult movie is rather difficult because GI JOE is commercial to the backbone (it's the figures we are buying, don't we?)

COMMERCIAL MOVIE: This is much easier because we take the music from any where and put it in (in a way that it matches the film)

Megadeth (makers of some great music to great movies like Universal soldier 2, WCW, NHL, NBA themes, ESPN main theme,....) For this movie I'd select songs like 'symphony of destruction' (1991 Countdown to extinction CD), Blood of heroes (1994 Youthanasia CD), 'The world needs a hero' (The world needs a hero CD 2001) and of course a cool cover of the original joe theme by megadeth. the cool thing about megadeth music is that it can be used in cult movies as well as high budget movies (they've also done 'last action hero', 'Bill and teds bogus day', 'Tales from the crypt', 'Wes Cravens Schocker').

MAIN THING: The world is OK and calmed - Cobra appearance (and with it the world comes into turmoil) - GIJOE face COBRA - World calmed again (this does not neccessarily mean that the joes won)

The Voting
In the future I'm going to put here the results of your votings so you can see who is the most voted and all that statistic stuff.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Modernization of G.I. Joe

G.I. Joe fans say stupid things, it's a fact of life. They also want so many different contradictory things that there's a reason Hasbro's all "Fuck these guys" most of the time (seriously when's the last time Joe fans received what they wanted and been happy. I'd say fuck 'em too). The greatest example of this is:


Every 4-8 weeks (Much like a Hasbro Direct mail order HISS) some stupid fuck on a message board posts something about a "Joeverse". I still am unsure why the fuck they say "Joeverse", maybe it's born out of the fact 80% of the goddamn population uses the term "verse" in place of "Versus". Some asshole says "G.I. Joe verse Cobra 2 pack Wave 3 are the best!" now the rest of us have to pay for the bastardization of speech with EVEN MORE bastardization. Fuck you I know my grammar ain't 100% but I understand how to speak.

Where was I? Oh yeah, assholes and there "Joeverse's", whenever one of those conversations comes up some jerk talks about "while the Joes from my childhood had 'Nam era backgrounds, my Joes have Iraq/Afghanistan war backgrounds"

Fuck You!

G.I. Joe isn't something that can work in a decade that's not the 80's. Ya know that decade where the US had infinite amounts of dough to fund stupid ass satellite missile systems (fuck your education and health care we gotta fuck up some Ruskies!). G.I. Joe can't work in another time, because if you try and bump it up your stuck in a decade with this guy as Prez:

"Slick Willy AKA Bill Clinton. The former Ppresident that was well know for his scandals has joined the forces as a con artist & negotiator. He will wine 'em dine 'em then stab them in the back with his knife."

Custom by a furry who worked at Wendy's; Medium: O-Ring figure and nail polish.

Or if you're like buddy boy I quoted your Joe Team is made up of National Guard recruits who in a time of GPS in everything, the ability to see Russia from Alaska and satellites that can zoom in on any goddamn person they want, can't find some old ass guy with health problems (REAL TALK: Osama Bin Laden probably died of Kidney Failure in 2002 or 2003). I guess that'd explain how the Joes could never capture CC.

In the end G.I. Joe is best when it's a bunch of jerks sneaking into countries and shootin' jerks in the head, while taking orders from some fag in a Hawaiian shirt who's trying to get coke outta South America who has Dennis Farina's haircut.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Strange Fruit (I guess this is what you'd call "art")

Merry fucking Christmas.

Strange Fruit is a song about lynchings. This is a post about drug use.

Phil Spector was a man who knew two things about music. WALLS OF NOISE and that it needs to be fast, he truly was a maverick. He might've pissed off a fag like Paul McCartney but that's neither here nor there. What we do know though is that if that blonde woman did die by his hands, it makes no difference as she would've died at the hands of someone else at a different time.

We all have our coping mechanisms.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

From The Archives: Smash The State #2, June 1995

In honor of the upcoming STS activity book, I have dug into the microfilm archives and pulled up a review 91 grunt did of "Body Count" from june of 1995, for your enjoyment!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Preview of the STS Activity Book

Will be finished circa Feb 2011. Hey man 25 pages of this nonsense is hard to do! I don't see Cobra Cabana doing "1998: A Commemorative Plate Series"

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Great Moments in HISS Tank HISStory

*Screenshot unavailable*

"Rest In Peace Rocky
Posted on 04-02-2010 at 08:17 PM by C.I.A.D.
Rocky-Profile-Pic---HissTank It is with a very heavy heart that I post this message. This past Wednesday, long time HissTank Forum Member rocky was found dead in his apartment.

Rocky, for better or worse at times, was a very vocal part of this board and he'll truly be missed.

Sorry to see you go, Rocky.

If you would like to share your condolences, please click on the discuss button below

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Cobra Commander's Daily Life

Cobra Commander is a busy man

I gotta get to that interview!!

Oh yeah! They're playin' Procal Harum. My favorite!

Get off the road ya crazy bitch!

No, I don't hate America. I hate Americans. They're all so loud!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Smash The State part 2 is a year old and Da Talent is a rogue negro

Smash The State v2 is much like Jason Arnotts second stint with the New Jersey Devils: Number one and the best (I only say that because he has six goals and two tonight and the devils are basicly a minor league team with injuries and goddamn)

It is also a year old today. So that means me and Johnny Turk have been drinking hobo jug wine and smoking skunk weed and haven't been able to post about this till like 9 at night or whatever.

also Johnny Turk and D Verburg did a podcast about GI Joes, Tom Jacks and Freedom, you can listen to it here after listening to that Da Talents previous post may make sense! Da Talent is a rogue negro and does whatever he want and doesn't live by whiteys rules so he made his study guide before the Tom Jacks Memorial Podcast went public.

So yeah, fuck jerks STS never loses.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Da Tom Jacks Memorial Episode 1, Study Guide..

Oh You.....
You love STS....
And in honor of the forthcoming Smash The Goddamn State activity book, I give you this fill in the blank companion to the STS/Sroca Slutch Transmission.
*answers at the back

1) Tom Jacks is ________. I hope.
2) Besides a delicious fruit paste, guano can also be used to make _____________ credentials.
3) Star-brigade is just ______________ & _______________
4) Dverburg is turned on by Ozone's _________
5) Turk, at one time had ____ astro vipers! ... but doesn't remember where they came from.
6) Dverburg was an envious fuck, because his friend had___________ growing up.
7) Marvel is _______!
8) Dverburg thinks interracial couples are only allowed in ______________.
9) Turk's favorite "Law & Order" incarnation is ___________.
10) Dverburg drives a _______________.
11) _____________ thinks the phrase, "Johnny come lately", is ok to use.
12) Memphis fucks you up man. Memphis is _____________.
13) Jack138 is ______
14) Tom Jacks likes _________, ____________ women.
15) Dverburg knows a lot about ________ ___________, but nothing about ________ __________.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Special In Depth Behind The Scenes R@RE Look at 1987 G.I. Joe Animated Movie

Did you jerks know that the most famous scene of the 1987 G.I. Joe Animated Film was completely improvised? Yeah I know you're thinking "Well gee Johnny Turk, it's an animated film, it can't be improvised" Fuck you!

Anyways a while back Smash The State wound up talking to a Hollywood Insider (Coke Dealer) who told us this really crazy ass story. Apparently during the voice recording sessions, they decided to have the actors for each scene (in sequential order too!) record their lines together. So despite half of it being Neil Ross talking to himself it was a winning method! Until the famous scene in which Roadblock and Cobra Commander were running around in the fucking Himalayas.

Kene Holliday and Chris Latta before hand had discussed how this G.I. Joe shit was "A real fuckin' career killer" because they were better off being "Some screechy ass airplane that turns into truck or something" (Latta) and "Gettin' bonked on the head for some racist old man's enjoyment" (Holliday). So they got real fucking zonked out on Coke and then tore apart the recording studio. This was expected because Kene Holliday was on a work release. What wasn't expected was the fact that their coke binge wound up being way better than the original script.

Excerpt of Original Script:
Roadbloc (Sic): Look here Commander. I'm gonna bust your head like a salamander!
Enemy Leader: You can't sssssssstop me G.I. Joesssssss. Dessstro releassse the SSSEA RAYSSS

However, a coked out Latta seemed to think he was a Snake and Holliday kept threatening to assault Latta. What happened next was a history altering moment, the Hasbro execs, as well as writer Buzz Dixon thought "Well this is a hell of a lot better than a 90 minute version of "Cobrathon" let's just make Cobra some goddamn Mole People or whatever and go back to doing what we love; Selling fake Ringo Starr autographs"

In a case of Art Imitating Life, Cobra Commander (and G.I. Joe as a whole) died in 1994

Kene Holliday today. Prostitute: Unknown

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Smash The State Endorses Michael Goodspaceguy Nelson

It's election day, and even though this country was bought and sold years and years ago and all candidates are different heads of the same seven headed dragon we at smash the state have finally found someone we can really put our weight behind, someone who will bring America back to the SPACE AGE


yeah thats right MICHAEL GOODSPACEGUY NELSON in the motherfucking house right now.

So when you drunkenly stumble out to the voters booth this afternoon, and when you get past the scary blacks there to intimidate you (thats what a guy trying to give me tea told me what happens!!) don't vote for more of the same, vote for a new future, a better future, a future in SPACE

More information can be found at

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


G.I. Joe is pretty patriotic, he fights for Freedom over Land and Air. Fuck the sea because that touches international waters, which also touches China. Fuck Communism (please continue to make our toys and cheap socks!). Outside of hating marine life, G.I. Joe displays it's patriotism quite proudly.

Here is Gung Ho, a Homosexual American:

He loves America, more than he loves the fact he knows what an Ottoman is. I don't know what an Ottoman is, but that's because all my furniture is made out of cinderblocks, ply wood and cable spools. Fuck you Gung Ho, get a real name rather than some mumbo jumbo in a made up language known as "French"

But it's not just humans that love America, killing machines also love America. Here is Fort America or as Steam Roller calls it "Old Gory"

Nothing is more fitting to be named after America than a Tank that turns into a slum.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's well established by this point...

That G.I. Joe fans are horrible human beings.

How do I know this? Well I've discussed G.I. Joe with jerks for a long time, and I've gotten to be quite good at determining "Creeps" and Non-Creeps". Basically there's people who live in the real world and don't think about G.I. Joe all the fucking time, and there are people who make naked customs of strippers. Here's a look at TOTALLY real and true (a den of scum and depraved individuals) Member Groups.

Its always 4:20 somewhere
This is for all the fellow Tankers that like to participate in a little extra curricular activity.

Yeah, maybe you should participate in exercise!

Hisstank Women
Theres not too many of us but somebody said something about making a group so here we go! Lets prove the girl joe-fans exist!

There's not too many thin ones either!

The Iron Maiden Group
This group is for all the Iron Maiden fans on the tank! Up the Irons!!!!!

Well if one group commits a mass suicide, I hope it's this one!

Bigfoot Enthusiasts
For all those who believe in the legendary creature. (Alien Enthusiasts also welcome)

Tinfoil Hat Group #1

Livin' the Dream
If you didn't just play with the toys... but signed the dotted line and lived the dream. (active duty or veteran) Make yourself heard hear.

Yeah man, that Skystriker sure made me want to join the fuckin' airforce. God damn separate reality from fiction!

Collecting Cops
Just a collector group for me and my fellow brothers in blue. Unless I'm the only one in the US and Canada who collects.

I wonder if this group beats up the minority collector groups!

Resolute rocks!!!!!!!!
If you love Resolute this is the plae to be .where we can talk about all that is Resolute !!!!!!

Man Resolute wasn't very good but god damn did a lot of people have something invested in it or something. Maybe it was the Sambo Roadblock or something.

K.A.I.J. (pronounced cage): Kids Are Into Joes The only group that is exclusively for kids! Want to join? Send me (warrant officer flint) a private message if you are between the ages of 1 and 16 and I'll send you an invite! Current Member: 5


The Resistance
The truth, thoughts, and conspiracies about today's issues.

Tinfoil hat group #2: This time about Obama being born in Africa!


That really made me laugh.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The New Vest pt. 4

Beer plus G.I. Joe (and maybe Broca Blutch but fuck those happy popular jerks) = this

Roadblock: Grunt, what the fuck. We had Cobra lined up like a duck.

Roadblock: He found that chains are the way to gain?


Tripwire: Where are the Orientals

Roadblock: 'Nam is over. Over like Rover.


Sunday, October 3, 2010

Other uses for G.I. Joe figures

In 1984 I mailed a letter to Hasbro, I would scan it but ya know, I mailed it to Hasbro. I didn't make a rough copy, I was a kid. However I do remember what it said: "Dear Hasbro; I like G.I. Joe toys but sometimes all this army stuff isn't what I want to do, it could brainwash me into becoming a bullet catcher. I do not want to die man"

Here is what I received in return. It's been framed ever since I received it so no scans.

"Tired of playing army? Well fuck you kid this ain't a love-in. God damn Canadians. Anyways, we here at Hasbro have been prepared for this because there's a strong opposition to Reagan's America, you fucking liberal panty-wastes. Hheres(sic) our suggestions:

1982 Scarlett: Aerobics Instructor
1982 Stalker: Rapist
1983 Ace: Astronaut
1983 Snowjob: Skier
1983 Gung Ho: Re-enact the movie "Cruising"
1983 Cobra Commander: Politician
1983 Duke: Track Hero
1983 Destro: Disco Party
1984 Spirit: Tonto
1984 Mutt: Butcher at a Deli
1984 Cutter: Re-enact the movie "Cruising"
1984 Roadblock: Gang member
1984 Zartan: Homeless

Ron Rudat

p.s. Next Year you can buy an Aircraft carrier, tell your parents"

I don't know why Hasbro gave me suggestions with such adult situations, all I know is I've never been able to look at Ace v1 since that cold October morning

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

This is what I think of when I think of Ameri... err Smash The State

Monday, September 20, 2010

Smash The State Says Stuff

Smash The State Figure Review-A-Thon is an internet hate blog that celebrated it's 3rd birthday recently, but lately I'd like to think lately G.I. Joe fans have left behind the things that made this website be very much like America. (Great!)

Anyways I'd like to ask you people to go back to being horrible human beings that are so depraved and lacking in social skills that boorish oafs known as Italians look better than you. Please, harass the poor people working at Target so that you can get your wave 3 POC Destro early. Please make incredibly racist comments about how Ripcord is black. Please Please Please kill your loved ones before you kill yourself.

Smash The State depends on this!