Other uses for G.I. Joe figures

In 1984 I mailed a letter to Hasbro, I would scan it but ya know, I mailed it to Hasbro. I didn't make a rough copy, I was a kid. However I do remember what it said: "Dear Hasbro; I like G.I. Joe toys but sometimes all this army stuff isn't what I want to do, it could brainwash me into becoming a bullet catcher. I do not want to die man"

Here is what I received in return. It's been framed ever since I received it so no scans.

"Tired of playing army? Well fuck you kid this ain't a love-in. God damn Canadians. Anyways, we here at Hasbro have been prepared for this because there's a strong opposition to Reagan's America, you fucking liberal panty-wastes. Hheres(sic) our suggestions:

1982 Scarlett: Aerobics Instructor
1982 Stalker: Rapist
1983 Ace: Astronaut
1983 Snowjob: Skier
1983 Gung Ho: Re-enact the movie "Cruising"
1983 Cobra Commander: Politician
1983 Duke: Track Hero
1983 Destro: Disco Party
1984 Spirit: Tonto
1984 Mutt: Butcher at a Deli
1984 Cutter: Re-enact the movie "Cruising"
1984 Roadblock: Gang member
1984 Zartan: Homeless


Ron Rudat
Hasbro

p.s. Next Year you can buy an Aircraft carrier, tell your parents"

I don't know why Hasbro gave me suggestions with such adult situations, all I know is I've never been able to look at Ace v1 since that cold October morning