Friday, April 2, 2010

G.I. Jerks of Yesteryear: Maderic

We here at Smash The State enjoy four things: Rude titties, G.I. Joe internet fandom and it's crazies, the past and telling girls with chest tattoos "Good luck on your career in ALT Porn"

The first G.I. Jerk of yesteryear is "Maderic". He was the craziest motherfucker in the G.I. Joe universe I've ever had the displeasure of crossing paths with. This guy was was not the typical right wing G.I. Joe fan, he was to the right of David Duke, and I figure disliked the FBI for what went down at Ruby Ridge. Outside of his usual rants against "THOSE RICH DEMOCRATS" "TEACHERS UNIONS" and "HOMOSEXUALS MAN, HOMOS" was his distrust and dislike of Black People. Remember the 2004 Cobra Infantry 6 pack? Well there was a black guy in there, old Maderic wasn't too happy about that, I guess Cobra was supposed to be the good guys in his world!

His biggest claim to lame, was this really crazy ass epic dio story "The SERPENT WARS" which he pimped for I swear to god 2 and a half years. It was supposed to be this epic with amazing effects an "awesome" story of the G.I. Joe's being hard ass soldiers kickin' ass and taking names, Cobra being in a heated power struggle, Serpentor doing shit, as well love! Well thing is it never came. He had spent most of 2002 on message boards asking for people to sell him Vipers and Cobra Soldiers for like $4.00 a piece. That's mad cheap

Also by "Awesome Story" I mean it would read like this: Chapter 1 Rocky Mountains-Colorado
The frigid temperatures and the wind added to the horrible conditions in the top of the mountains. The snow-suited man walked solemnly down the winding path to the lab complex.

“Hey, Snowstorm. Where the hell is the transport off this rock?” Another man shouted.

Snowstorm turned to see who yelled, it was Flint, otherwise known as John Ramirez. His sleek black hair, and beret were unmistakable.

“Beats me, John. My GPS has no signal on it from this high,” Snowstorm said softly.

“Let’s check the chopper’s transponder,” Ramirez said.

“Here it is,” Snowstorm said softly, as he held out a small transponder locator reader.

“The transponder says its close,” Ramirez said with a smile.

“Thank god, we’ve been waiting fifty cold hours,” Snowstorm remarked.

“I thought you liked the cold?” Flint replied.

“Very funny,” he said raising his eyesight from his comrade to a noise coming from the hills behind them. “What do you think that noise is?”

“Big-foot,” Ramirez replied.

“No seriously, it sounds like heavy machines,” he said. As he tried to adjust his vision of the surrounding area, he saw it coming from behind the overpass but couldn’t recognize what is was. He pulled a pair of binoculars from his shirt pocket, and looked in shock, to read the labels marking the approaching vehicles simply in one phrase, he released from his icy lips, "Cobra...."

Taken from:

Maderic once made a custom, it was of some dumbass boat, it was made entirely out of cardboard. He posted it on Joecustoms (More on that in a minute!) where it appeared to be a foot long, and a foot tall and 8 inches wide. It was taken on a doc and there was some white trash kid sitting next to it with a Mighty Ducks shirt on, I wish I had that image saved!

So at one point Maderic was a member of, there was some thread where dudes posted lists of shit they hated, most of which was "Activist Judges" "Judgemental Women" "The city of San Francisco" and "Roe Vs. Wade" he posted something, and I can't remember what was on it, but it was way bad. So he got into an argument which concluded with an e-mail to known jerk "Beav" asking him why he was so gay and something about wanting to fight. He got banned and then drifted along message boards posting crazier shit.

Sadly in 2004 his dio was shown. It was 5 images of 2002 green vipers, but it was overly flashed and not in focus. Even sadder in 2003 his cardboard battle boat sank, it is unknown if the kid in the mighty ducks baseball jersey was on board.

Maderic if you read this, go jump in an empty swimmin' pool

: "Also like 3-4 months after Maderic got banned from Joecustoms he posted a thread on the Devils Due Forum trying to milk sympathy for getting some girl knocked up. I always figured the girl was either really fat or a really methed up looking trashy blonde woman who had homemade daisy dukes and used the plastic tie thing from a garbage bag as a belt. In like 2002 in the old "Things I hate" thread in the "Flaming" board on Joecustoms (Back when Beav had a set of balls) he used to get into it with a poster named Divine Shockwave, who as far as I can remember was an ultra-liberal asian obsessed 17 year old who was way into white guilt. So the two clashed pretty often, it was fantastic. Unproven smug teenager who has never worked a day in his life vs crazy paranoid right winger who probably lives in the goddamned backwoods and has a crudely made plywood human figure in the backyard with "NIGGERS" spraypainted on it. After he was banned from Joecustoms Maderic would post dialog from his "Dio story" in his sig on Devils Due and one day it was something like "LAW: WHERES SHOCKWAVE FLINT: THEY FOUND OUT HE WAS A COMMUNIST AND HE WAS KICKED OFF THE TEAM". I figure Maderic is waiting up in the backwoods somewhere waiting for the racewar to start and has a shirt that says "O.B.A.M.A: ONE BIG ASS MISTAKE, AMERICA"

So yeah go fall in the empty swimming pool jerkface"

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