Black Ripcord Part Whatever

If you've noticed the lack of activity, it's partially based on the fact that G.I. Joe is pretty stupid and outside of 30th Stalker, and 30th/Renegadez Storm Shadow has been a waste of time. The rest of it has been Dr. Henry E. Miller being tangled up in some rough stuff involving a burned out tractor trailer and "some motherfucker who runs a Gyro shop"

Anyways, I sauntered over to Hiss Tank today, and found some stereotypical HISS Tank nonsense. That place is a lot like working at a warehouse, you're surrounded by linear thinking racist pigs who know nothing except how to steal. Well here's some stupid ass pictures of people saying embarrassing things:



Is Jar Jar Binks even a relevant reference at this point? That guy wrecked the SERIOUS BUSINESS that was Star Wars, like 15 years ago, give it up, jesus.



This wouldn't be the reaction if Ripcord was "WHITE REDHEAD GUY FROM USA"



Holy hell that Troynos dude is still around? He started some "SECRETIONS FROM DA FILECARDS" thread that was even more tedious than reading "G.I. Joe: Iconoclast by Tim Elf"




I like how whenever Ripcord is brought up, dudes always pull out this mythical "Ripcord was a great character and very memorable" nonsense. Ripcord didn't do shit, and was a figure that was only better than the flame thrower faggot, and the Pippi Longstockings Indian medicine man.



You think some guy with a Wesley Willis quote in his signature would be a little more tolerant than a dude making a joke about the black guy dying first. Turns out he isn't! This guy should suck a male camel's dick.

Well on that note, the new Spring update has happened!

REAL TALK

Clutch, the victim of a savage beating in San Francisco



The thing Clutch has painted on the hood of his car


Clutch is great because he has a beard, a cool jeep and is a womanizer, heres some totally true facts about the best Joe ever:

- Clutch doesn't fuck around, one time Zap locked him out of the barracks, so Clutch dumped his old Christmas Tree on Zap's lawn.

- Clutch is Jewish and doesn't even celebrate Christmas but fuck Zap he has a dead ass tree to worry about.

- Clutch modified the radios in every Joe Vehicle to play Cosmos Factory on loop

- Clutch listens to nothing but Creedance Clearwater Revival, the only time he doesn't is when he listens to "Had To Cry Today" by Blind Faith, but thats only like once a month.

- Clutch and Rock And Roll got hired to build a shed once, but instead of building the shed, they smoked dope in the back of a van and played Nintendo, but still got paid because they got the high score in Double Dragon.

- Clutch named the VAMP "Jewish Lightning"

- Clutch cleaned out the inside of the MOBAT just to hide little slips of paper with Polish jokes on them so Steeler would get sad when he found them. "WHAT DO YOU CALL POLISH BODY ARMOR: STICKING THE TOP HALF OF YOUR BODY OUT OF THE TOP OF THE FUCKING TANK!"

- Clutch took a math test and the question asked "MARY HAS 3 APPLES AND 2 ORANGES BUT WHEN ADDED TOGETHER SHE GOT SIX, WHY IS MARY WRONG?" and Clutch just wrote down "SHES A WOMAN"


- When they told Clutch, Tom Fogerty was dead, Clutch burnt down Ohio.

- Clutch wrote all of Neil Young's lyrics

- Clutch hung out for like six weeks not paying hotel bills and picking up strange women in North L.A.

- Clutch went and hung out with Fidel Castro just so he could pick up some exotic looking bitches.

- Clutch is great you jerks.

The Ugly American

We here at Smash The State have for years mentioned that G.I. Joe fans are generally stupid arrogant buttfuckers, and well here's some more photographic proof!

But first a little background. Some nerd posted this article on The Stank: http://www.oafe.net/blog/2011/12/holidays-by-hasbro-transformers-from-hell/ As you figured, negative comments about the corporation that provides them with almost as much joy as Frito-Lay products, as well as people in other countries leads to HILARIOUS comments.



Note the signature glorifying rape.




He's probably not joking




Ya know, all these crazy ass opinions are coming from States that tend to believe Professional Wrestling is real. I wonder if there's a correlation.




Holy christ.



Note, at this point there were maybe 3 posts saying "Hey, this is horrible"




"Umbusu"




"Liberal Propaganda" "Get out of your mom's basement" "Picture of a bunch of shitty tattoos" If only he had more spelling errors and a picture of an ugly woman I'd win at "G.I. Joe fuck head BINGO"




Real Talk: I skimmed through this one, blanked out after the first "Commie" and then paid attention at the Reagan quote but stopped paying attention again.



Well that was what it was, however with the rising cost of shipping things, these dudes are probably gonna wind up working in a factory!

Goodnight, and good luck.

Yeah, that's part of what bothers me: the horseshit. You want a nude toy? Well, that's just dicked up, so don't try to tell me you're anything other than a perverted deviant. Toys aren't art, they're a mass-produced consumer good, and you ain't no artist. A nekkid toy, complete with ugly twat, has only one purpose, and it has nothing to do with art. There's an implication inherent in turning a kid's toy into a piece of porn. It means you're a weirdo who has sexualized toys/geek pop culture. It means the thought of a toy with a cunt turns you on. That, by extension, means you connect sex with childhood/childish things. Newsflash, asshole, there's a strong chance you might be an active or a latent pedophile, and that's the bit that really bothers me. I don't cotton to that shit.

Felonious Monk

(Smash The State eats itself)

A figure review.

G.I. Joe is a pretty retarded thing, that really should've been dead and buried for 10 years at this point, however that is not the case, and we've been subject to A LOT of terrible things, such as everything from 2002-2006, that gay movie, Resolute, and a lot of other things I never actually paid attention to.

Occasionally however there is a G.I. Joe that still has THE STUFF. Today, Smash The State is going to discuss the most recent G.I. Joe that has THE STUFF, don't expect a lot of knowledge or wittiness because fuck you we don't care, and the best reviewer of G.I. Joe toys Last Best Angry Man is too busy driving his new car in the Alkali Flats

2011 Stalker is a rad as fuck figure, he doesn't look like a fucking cartoon, doesn't have bright colours, has a machete and above all else looks like a member of the Black Panther Party, I haven't seen anyone mention that, but it's probably because most white bread honky fuckers into G.I. Joe are thinking "Stalker is Snake Eyes and Tommy's best friend, he didn't kill cops or sell drugs in the 70's"

So basically buy this figure, it's a true throw back to the days of G.I. Joe being President Reagan's official gang, full of people from Ohio or high school dropouts (they're the same thing amirite)

Real Life G.I. Joes Part II

File Photo of a Racist, Christian Activist


"...a series of emails that show an influential evangelical activist with close ties to the Perry campaign stressing the political importance of “juxtaposing traditional Christianity to the false God of Mormonism,” and calling for a “clarion call to Evangelical pastors and pews” that will be “the key to the primary” for Perry.

The activist in question is David Lane, a conservative Christian power broker who directed fundraising for Perry’s August prayer rally "


“Lane is the mysterious, behind the scenes, evangelical kingmaker who stormed into Iowa in 2008 and tilted the whole thing from Romney to Huckabee.”



What in the fuck is Sure Fire's problem?

NHL PREDICTIONS 2011

THE COMPLETE PUSSIFICATION OF A ONCE NOBLE SPORT